In episode 50, we heard about shadow work from healer Elizabeth Powell. Tonight, in this brief episode, we’ll consider how we can use shadow work to help us grow in love.

<music>

Welcome to the PEEP Podcast! I’m your host Nicolle Morock, and on this Thanksgiving episode, I want to take just a few minutes to look at how our own shadows can show us a path toward love.

But first, I want to remind you that I’ve launched an author profile and my first story on Ream! You can find me at reamstories.com/nicollemorock. Ream is spelled R-E-A-M, and the link is in the show notes. As an introductory offer, your first month on the Healers tier of my page is free! Just use the offer code HEALERS in all caps when you subscribe by November 30^th, 2023. This is a limited time offer, so if you’re interested in reading along as I write my first fantasy novel, want to give feedback on the story, and get a discount on digital copies of my books, now’s the time to give it a try for free!

Also, separately, but on the same timeline, you have until November 30^th, 2023, to subscribe to my newsletter at peeppodcast.com to be automatically entered into a drawing for signed copies of my three paperbacks. I’ll email you if you win. No purchase necessary!

Okay, now back to love and the shadow.

The holidays can be full of love and joy, and they can also be fraught with family drama, heated debates, or even difficult decisions on whether to attend an event based on who will be there. Is Uncle Joe going to use every topic as a launching pad for a political diatribe? Will grandma ask yet again why I haven’t had children? Will Mikey be passed out drunk before dinner’s even on the table? For some families, these are legitimate concerns, and let’s face it: We all have something that triggers each of us and at least one family member that knows exactly which buttons to push, even if they do it unintentionally.

But this year, let’s make challenging situations opportunities to explore our own minds a little deeper. Instead of just letting that person push your buttons and reacting the way you always do, ask yourself why they’re able to trigger the response you have.

Here’s an example based on what I learned about myself from the discussion that Elizabeth and I had in Episode 50:

One way to trigger me is to insinuate that I am too busy for important things. I immediately go on the defense, and that’s not a place I’m comfortable being. Whether intentionally or unintentionally, it happens a lot from my family and friends.

Yes, I do stay busy with a full-time job, a house and yard to take care of, a garden, this podcast, my writing, an energy healing business, and some semblance of a social life, but if something is important, I’ll fit it in! I always do. Yet, someone always starts a request or invitation with “I know you’re super busy, but…” and it makes me feel like I need to apologize for having so many projects – all of which have risen from things I’m passionate about.

I could say that’s all that bothers me, but there’s more to it. When I dive deeper into why I stay so busy, I end up in my own little shadow world. I remember back to a friend asking me a decade ago how I had time to work full time, run lights for bands, investigate haunted places, and write my first book, and without thinking twice, I answered, “because I don’t have kids.”

And on my way home from that meeting, I got sad because I had never really thought about it until she asked that question.

I wanted children and that desire never came to fruition. And before anyone writes or comments that it’s not too late to adopt, it wasn’t just kids that I wanted. I wanted the traditional family unit. A loving husband, children, at least one pet… you know, the whole kit and caboodle. Instead, I was divorced and creative with a hatred of boredom.

So, I filled my time with projects, side hustles, and learning more about the paranormal side of the world around me. I filled my time with things that would keep me from having time to think about what didn’t work out in my life.

This is not a cry for sympathy. It’s a look into my shadow self. I buried the disappointment and loneliness with distractions, and it took me a long time to accept that’s what I was doing.

These days, I’m busy because I love those projects, and it’s not all about distracting myself anymore. I’m at peace with where life has taken me, and I have accepted that I wasn’t meant to be a mom in this lifetime. I had lessons to learn and other reasons for being here. And to some extent, I’m still trying to figure that all out.

But now that I’ve worked through those feelings and brought that pain to the light, I’m not as triggered when it feels like someone is accusing me of acting too busy for them. I simply remind them that I make time for what’s important to me, even if it means something else gets postponed for a day or two.

My nephew’s ball game, my niece’s dance recital, a loved one’s health issue, or a birthday celebration – those are the things life is made up of and those are the important moments. My projects have self-imposed deadlines because I’m type A and require structure, or they’ll never be finished. But that doesn’t mean the deadlines can’t be moved for the people I care for.

So, what is it that triggers you? Is it a phrase, an accusation, a political stance, or something else? Ask yourself why you have that reaction and then dive deeper if necessary. You may need to work with a counselor or therapist if it feels overwhelming, and that’s okay. Therapy is awesome! Or maybe you’re like me and you just need to start writing - journaling to work through your thoughts.

At this point, you maybe asking how doing a shadow work challenge will help you move toward love. I think once you’ve identified your triggers, you can control your reaction to them in a healthier way. You can’t change other people’s behavior, but you can change how you respond to it. Ask yourself what makes them say or do that thing that triggers you?

Are they acting out of ignorance? Are they saying something that they don’t even realize bothers you? Is there something in their past that makes them less empathetic or compassionate toward people that don’t believe the same way they do?

There is a book that I honestly haven’t read yet, but I like the general rules that came out of it. It’s The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, and the agreements are these:



1.     Be impeccable with your word.

2.     Don’t take anything personally.

3.     Don’t make assumptions.

4.     Always do your best.

I think all of those fit this topic, but the one I go to most often with triggers is “Don’t take anything personally.” The printout of the Four Agreements I used to have hanging in my cubicle at a past job elaborated with, “Nothing others do is because of you. It is a reflection of their own reality. When you are unaffected by the opinions and actions of others, you will be free from pointless suffering.”

There is so much power in that wisdom!

If you think back to Episode 43, “Are We Creating Our Own Reality?” The answer was in a way, we are. Our perceptions, our thoughts, our words, and our energy influence how we experience our world. My reality is different from yours, and that’s okay. It’s the reason that not taking anything personally has become much easier for me. And I hope with a little reflection on your own shadow self, it can become easier for you.

Once you realize you shouldn’t take anything personally, it becomes easier to look at everyone with curiosity and compassion, which is 100% the path to growing in love.

I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving if you celebrate it! And if you don’t, just have a wonderful week! I’m grateful for you and I thank you for listening.

If you are interested in sharing your own personal paranormal experiences, or if you have an idea for an episode topic, please reach out through the contact form at peeppodcast.com. That's P-E-E-P Podcast.com. Remember that stands for People Experiencing Everyday Paranormal.

While you’re there, subscribe to my newsletter to keep up with the podcast and all my creative and energetic endeavors. I only email it once a month. You’ll receive briefs on recent episodes, information on any upcoming appearances, and some additional fun stuff, including drawings for free books, like the one I’m doing November 30th!

If you enjoy the podcast, please give it some rating love on your favorite podcast app, share it with friends, and subscribe so you don’t miss an episode. Ratings and reviews help the podcast be found by others. A huge thank you to everyone who has given the show some love! I truly appreciate it!

No matter how you support the show – listening, telling others about it, financial support through the donate button on the website, or any other way, I absolutely appreciate your being here.

Thanks again for listening! Stay safe and be well!