In previous episodes, guests have mentioned ways they have received communication from the other side. Today, we’ll talk about some ways your loved ones might send messages to let you know they’re still watching out for you.

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Welcome to the PEEP Podcast! I’m your host Nicolle Morock, and on this episode, we’re talking about after-death communication!

But first, I want to say thank you for sticking with me through my little spring break. While I didn’t go anywhere, the time off from the podcast allowed me time to get a decent start on transcribing the beginning of my current work in progress from two handwritten journals. You see, I started my next novel back in 2011, writing it in my car during lunch breaks. Then life took its usual twists and turns, and the story was put on hold until I found it in a drawer last year. I’m pretty sure I’ve already written about 40,000 words of it, because over the last few weeks, I’ve transcribed over 21,000, and I’m only halfway through the journals!

This one is going to be a fun fantasy novel about a young healer who learns the truth of how her father died while she searches for her kidnapped mother. Her journey takes her outside of her comfort zone and into dark places beyond the borders of her homeland.

As I’ve been transcribing it, I’m falling in love with the story all over again and thinking of new ways to improve it. So, I’m doing a little editing as I type, which of course, slows me down a bit.

I also redesigned the covers for my two novels in the growing Rayna Smith series: The Tritium Hypothesis and The Dark Season. While I loved the uniqueness of the original covers, I’ve learned that if book covers don’t match the expectations of the genre, they won’t sell. So, I’m hoping to grab the attention of more paranormal fiction readers with the new looks.

But you didn’t come here to listen to me talk about my other projects, so I’ll get on with tonight’s topic!

I’ve been asked about this before, and I’ve written about it for an SEO client. So, I thought I’d cover it here – after-death communication.

When a loved one passes, some of us actively look for signs that our loved ones are alright on the other side. Others experience something unusual or unexpected that makes them think that maybe it was a sign from their person – or even their pet. Yes, pets can communicate, too. These signs can be quite comforting, especially when the loss is recent. So, this episode is not meant to be spooky in any way – it’s meant to bring you hope.

First, let’s consider the unexpected and somewhat rare ways a loved one may try to communicate after they’ve passed.

In Episode 6, I interviewed Brandon Massulo, author of The Ghost Studies: New Perspectives on the Origins of Paranormal Experiences. One of the many ideas covered in his book is the “bereavement apparition” or “grief apparition,” which is witnessing the appearance of your loved one while you’re in the process grieving them. It’s rare, but it happens often enough to have a name! While the idea of having a ghost visit you might sound jarring, most experiencers report that seeing their deceased loved one just one last time was actually comforting and validating. 

Another form of communication that seems more common happens when your loved one appears in a dream. It has happened to me many times, and I know others who have had similar experiences. Once, I dreamed that I was working at a local venue where I run lights for concerts several times a year, and my friend who had passed just a few months prior to that dream was talking with me. In life, he had been one of the guys who taught me that skill when I was about 19 years old, and I took it pretty hard when he passed.

In the dream, we were talking about someone – I don’t know who – but he looked at me and said something to the effect of “If you don’t give him a chance, how will he ever be able to prove himself?” (I’m paraphrasing because that dream was about four years ago, and the exact wording has faded in my memory.) The whole setting and conversation felt incredibly real, and when I woke, I knew it was a message for someone else. So, accepting that some of my Facebook friends would think I was weird, I posted the exact message I received and tagged his memorial page and his widow’s page. Within an hour, a friend of theirs commented that she knew exactly who he was talking about and that it sounded just like something my friend would have told her about the situation she was concerned about at that time.

I never asked for a sign from him. I only prayed that he and his family would have peace despite his sudden passing in a car accident.

But there are probably two reasons I got this message instead of someone else:

1.      I’m obviously open to spontaneous mediumship while I’m dreaming, and he knew about my paranormal fascinations.

2.      He knew I’d try to get the message to whoever needed it because I’m long past worrying about what people think of me when it comes to this stuff.

Like other researchers, I believe that our psychic walls are much lower when we sleep, and our subconscious is more open to receiving messages like that. I’ve always had vivid dreams, but when I dream of passed loved ones, I’m aware those dreams are different, and they feel much more real than my usual brain dump dreams, or even my occasional bouts of lucid dreaming.

There are many more subtle ways that your loved one could reach out to you. Some are popularly shared on social media through memes, while others are much more personal.

Cardinals – A meme I see shared over and over on Facebook says that having a cardinal visit your yard is a symbol that a loved one is nearby. I hate to say it, but I think this one is a bit overblown and over simplified. First, I have a yard full of cardinals! Now before you think I’m one super-haunted person, let’s logically consider that the state bird of North Carolina – my home state – is… you guessed it – the cardinal! They are everywhere! And I have a row of privets bordering my backyard that is full of cardinal nests.

In my case, I’d be more likely to associate a passed loved one with an owl because it’s a bird that literally has an association with a certain family member’s death, and we love owls. If you had a loved one who had an affinity for blue birds, hummingbirds, or any other bird, and you don’t normally see them in your yard, then that type of bird is more likely than a cardinal to be your personal sign from them.

The same goes for other types of animals. You’ll recognize them when you see them. You’ll feel that reminder of the association deep in your heart, so don’t talk yourself out of it. Just accept it with gratitude.

Coins from heaven – this one is pretty common and goes back much farther than social media. Typically, the story goes that the recipient finds pennies in odd places – maybe they have a year imprinted on them that has specific meaning, or maybe they don’t – but the location or the frequency or the timing is the tip that they’re signs from the other side. It doesn’t always have to be pennies, either. I’ve heard stories of people finding nickels and dimes, too.

Feathers – some people associate white feathers with signs from angels, but feathers can also be a sign from a loved one. Either way, finding one should bring comfort, especially if you find one in an unusual place – like inside your home or car.

Time standing still – I’ve heard stories of clocks stopping at the person’s moment of death or on an anniversary of it. I’ve also heard of clocks that have never been used and didn’t even have batteries suddenly chiming or beeping randomly after the owner’s passing. Time is more than just a way to count our seconds and days, it can be a meaningful symbol of life going on or the need to take time to grieve. The meaning really depends on the situation, so context matters.

Butterflies or dragonflies in the wrong season or behaving oddly – it’s one thing to have a garden and see butterflies in the summer, but what if you see them when the weather is all wrong for them? 100% it’s a sign. Butterflies signify transformation and change for the better. Dragonflies are similarly symbolic in that they are said to be able to go back and forth between this world and the spirit world.

I had a strange event involving a dragonfly a few years back. I used to take solo weekend beach trips every April just to get away and relax. Being an empath and an introvert, those trips were much needed. On one trip, I was sitting on the beach, listening to the ocean, and I had just shared the mandatory “Look where I am” ocean-view photo on Facebook when I saw a story in my feed about a man mysteriously washing ashore less than a mile from where I was sitting, just a day before.

I was thinking how sad that story was and wondering what might have happened to him when a dragonfly flew up to me and hovered just inches from my face. Now, I love dragonflies, so I thought it was interesting, and I said “hello,” to it. Then it tried to land on my mouth – twice! I finally shooed it away and it flew so fast that it seemed to disappear. Maybe I just lost sight of it while dealing with the shock of having a dragonfly land on my lips. I mean literally, it felt like it was trying to get in my mouth!

I sat there for a minute and the thought came to my mind: maybe that man’s spirit was trying to tell me something, and I was too shocked by how to comprehend what was going on in the moment.

Other possibilities with bugs, birds, and animals – they don’t have to be the real thing! If your grandmother had ladybug décor in her kitchen and you’re suddenly seeing images of lady bugs in your Twitter feed, on signs at the shopping center, etc., that could be her reminding you of her love. Signs from your loved ones are usually much more personal than the memes lead you to believe.

Seeing important numbers or dates repeatedly – whether it’s a birthday, anniversary, street address, or some other number that held significance for your loved one and you, if you’re just going about your daily life and seeing that number over and over within a short period of time, they’re probably trying to say hello. Acknowledge them and see what happens.

Phantom scents – It’s not a pleasant smell, but I have a personal story associated with moth balls. My great-grandmother’s home smelled like moth balls when I was a child, and when she’s around me, that’s what I smell. Why mothballs and not a favorite perfume or baked good or something more pleasant? Probably because she is the only person I associate that smell with, so there is no doubt in my mind it’s her. And I’m totally okay with it! Never has an ugly odor been so comforting!

For others, it might be pipe smoke, perfume, roses, or any other scent that you specifically associate with your loved one.

Wind chimes – this is one of my favorites for its sound and simplicity. If you listened to my last episode, you know certain tones that resonate with you can be healing. I have two sets of wind chimes. My Catskill Mountain set has a beautiful deep tone and the more Asian-looking set with metal and jade has a light tinkling melody. Wind chimes are popular sympathy gifts, and they can be used to communicate from the other side. If the chimes are sounding without the aid of a breeze, you can bet it’s a sign from your person.

Songs – music is an important part of my life, and I think it’s the same for most people. It doesn’t matter what genre; everyone has a favorite song or band that can be associated with their memory. And if you hear that favorite song right after you think of them, consider that confirmation that they are with you.

I’ve been asked how to ask for a sign from a passed loved one, and music is an easy way. Turn on a radio station that plays a wide variety, and ask them to let you know they’re listening by sending a message through the music. If you soon hear one of their favorites, say “thank you.” If you don’t, that’s okay, too. They may be busy enjoying the afterlife, and they’ll check on you later.

Now that we’ve covered some different ways friends and family can communicate from beyond – and this is by no means an exhaustive list – let’s look at a little research.

I found a fact sheet from the University of North Texas summarizing a study about after-death communication. Here’s some really interesting data, and I’m quoting directly from it. I’ll of course put a link in the show notes so you can read it for yourself.

ADC is a spontaneous phenomenon in which a living person has a feeling or sense of direct contact with a deceased person.

ADC may occur as any of the following types—alone or in combination: visual, auditory, tactile, sense of presence, olfactory, dream, symbolic (song on radio, butterfly), deathbed vision (nearing-death awareness), and telephone.

Dream ADC may be the most common—and might better be termed “sleep” ADC because people who report ADC (ADCrs) often report the “dream” was actually real or was more real than typical dreams.

Who has ADCs? According to 35 research studies between 1894 and 2006 involving over 50,000 people from around the world:

About one-third (1/3) of people report having experienced ADC some time in their lives.

Both bereaved and non-bereaved people, but bereaved more than non-bereaved: about three-fourths (3/4) of people within one year of the death of a loved one.

Both sexes, with women reporting more ADC than men.

People of all ages, with older people perhaps slightly more likely—probably because the older a person is, the more likely the person has experienced others’ deaths.

People of all nationalities, with those from ADC-affirming cultures reporting more.

People of all ethnicities, with some perhaps slightly more than others.

From highest to lowest among Americans: African-American, Mexican-American, Caucasian-American, and Japanese-American.

People of all education levels.

People of all incomes, with people with relatively lower incomes perhaps slightly more likely to report ADC.

People of all religious affiliations and practices.

People no matter what their physical condition.

People no matter what their mental condition. The great majority of ADC researchers have noted that ADCrs in their studies were mentally healthy.

There is no evidence that ADC alone indicates psychological disorder or mental illness.

People usually find ADC to be beneficial, using descriptive words like pleasant, positive, mystical, serene, elating, helpful, comforting, healing, spiritual, and a good experience. Most ADCrs report that, as a result of the ADC, they feel reassured and comforted that the deceased continues to exist—and in a state of wellbeing and happiness, and the relational bond of love between the ADCr and the deceased continues—albeit in a different form. In summary, the ADCr feels affirmed that neither the deceased nor the relationship with the deceased has ceased; rather, both have transformed and continue.

People sometimes experience distress related to ADC, almost always fear and confusion from lack of information or misinformation about ADC rather than from the contents or experience of the ADC itself.

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If you happen to know someone who has had any of these experiences and are fearful about it, please tell them about my podcast. My hope is always to help people understand that the paranormal is much more normal than most people think!

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